Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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