His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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