White coat. Heels.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
