Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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