The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
