I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
