her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
