Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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