Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
