he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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