Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
