i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
