I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
