I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
