You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
