He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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