you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
