For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
