she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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