you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
