Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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