iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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