why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
