I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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