too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
