i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
