He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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