yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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