u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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