I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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