ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
