If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
