the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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