You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
