I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
