my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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