how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
