I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
