You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
