yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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