as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
