who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
