He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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