Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
