Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
