When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry about my life...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
