I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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