Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
