I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
