i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
